Ta DA!!!!

July 30, 2011 by ·
If any of you have had any type of conversation with me in the past couple of years, you know I have a huge thing about giving people “Ta Da’s” (If you have no idea what I’m talking about, give me a call, it’s obviously been too long since we have last talked!… of just tell me to explain myself and I’ll write a whole post about it… yes, I feel that strongly about the Ta Da Factor!)
… anyway, when Ben came home from his 3rd day of school with his first art project and had me walk around with him to find the ‘perfect spot’ to hang it up, I thought, “He needs his Ta Da moment!”

… and as we were walking around, I suddenly noticed how barren this wall looked:

 … and how much it was just screaming for a little spice in life.

… and then I thought,

“hey how about a Ta Da WALL??!  (with 5 kids, we’ve got to think global here, folks… no piddly pin up board is going to hold all of the masterpieces that grace the threshold of our household!)

… So after a bit of research, and a great big deep breath, I dove in and started…

and quickly got a little scared to see the BLACK magnetic paint all over our once beautifully neutral walls, and suddenly panicked, thinking this may be one of my (many*ahem*) hair brained schemes that looks a lot better in my brain than it does in real life…

… but we forged ahead…

through all the layers, spills, and smells…
to give birth to the “Official Ta Da” dwelling in our home.

… so if any of you are needing a little recognition, pat on the back, or any other form of Ta Da… send it here… we’ll put it up in your honor 🙂

Filed Under: Motherhood, Random

Hand-me-down mommy

July 29, 2011 by ·

 I recently dug this fun sweatshirt out of our hand-me-down box…

For it’s newest owner, Joshua.
As I was rolling the sleeves up to fit his still-too-tiny-arms and assuring him that it would be fine, “you’ll grow into it” and then watched how he looked at it in awe and told me about all of the parts of the firetruck (that he had learned from his two older fire-truck-loving brothers), I couldn’t help but think about something else that has been brewing in my mind for the past little while…
**Warning, random ramblings about to erupt… feel free to exit the blog at any time… :)**
There, consider yourself warned…
I have been thinking lately, ya know, in all of my 9 years of mommy-hood experience ;), that I can feel myself slowly ‘growing into’ the mommy role.
— I find myself more content with little things.
— Less flustered over the bazzilion schedule changes during the course of a 24 hour day.
— Less likely to be mortified at the site of some of the outfit choices of the kiddos (and even secretly glad that they chose a certain outfit…
and that they don’t really care about molding to the general regular-clothes-wearing population)
— Not quite so anal about scheduling every minute of every day
— Able to choose my battles a bit more (or less, as the case may be)
— And in general just loving being around my children.
Are things perfect?  Not by a long shot.  But they are better.  Not because the kids have changed, but because I find myself changing… morphing… molding… into this thing called “Mommy”.  More importantly, I find myself loving the role, and finding the fit to be bit by bit more comfortable as the years go by.
As I have thought about this little inner discovery, I started to think back to how I have come to be where I am now on the mommyhood journey, and where I have learned the many (unpublished) mommyhood lessons from the (undocumented) mommyhood manual.
    And I have realized that I am, in fact, a hand-me-down mommy.
So many lessons that I have applied, and am now trying to apply in my little mommyhood universe have been taught to me by so many incredible mothers that I have been surrounded by my entire life.  So many of you out there have handed me down so many mothering moments, and I thank you for that.  There have been so many of you that have helped me on my path to mommyhood (and continue to help me on my path) that I don’t even know how to begin to thank you all and let you know some of the gratitude that I feel for the teeny-tiny lessons that you have taught me.
A few that for some reason have been hitting me a little harder lately come from those of you in my own family.
… *Warning, cheese factor about to get turned up a notch… go on at your own risk!*
I have, hands down, the most incredible examples of womanhood and motherhood in my immediate family.  I am the youngest of 7 kids, with 2 older sisters and 4 older sister-in-laws (Chelle – you count as older because you just morphed into Brians age category when you got married!). Plus a mother in law, and two more incredible sister-in-laws on my hubby’s side.
We are one of those cheesy families who actually like getting together.  A lot.
And when we get together.  I watch.  and I learn.

First of all, my mom.

What can I say about her?  She is the epitome of motherhood.
      There is not a day that goes by where I find myself thinking, ‘what would my mom do?’  I think it’s safe to say that her kids are her life, and she did so many thousands of tiny things day in and day out to make our lives wonderful – things that at the time I had no idea how inconvenient it was for her.  She just did them because, well, she was the mom.
      Like the time I moved suddenly from dorm room living to apartment living, and called her crying because I was having a hard time adjusting, and within 24 hours she was knocking on the door with a box full of pots and pans to help in my transition.
      Or the countless games of various sports that I could look up and see her being my #1 cheerleader in the stand.  Home.  Away.  Hot.  Cold.  Early.  Late.  She was there.  (I have to admit, this thought was about the only thing that kept me in my chair on the sidelines of my own child’s first freezing cold soccer game cheering away…).  I think deep down, she doesn’t even really like sports (though she would never admit it openly to our sports-obsessed family!).  That act alone has built at least one floor in her mansion in heaven, I’m sure of it!

And then my sisters.

The best.  Ever.  (Well, I can say that now that I am no longer subjected to ‘prickly pear cactus legs’ or the pinch of death, or forced to sleep on the ‘dracula’ side of the bed!)

Each of my sisters is an absolutely amazing mother.  Seriously.  As in, the type that when I visit, I take a step back at each of their houses and think, “when I grow up, I want to be a mom like that!”  (and then I remember, oh no, I’m already a mom!  I’m already behind!)

Janie –

I won’t even talk about the fact that I’m a wee bit jealous that you could give birth to 7 children (yes, that’s right, folks, SEVEN), and still be the skinniest one of the bunch!  But I also stand in complete awe at your ability to organize all of the children, serve as Relief Society President, And run a bazzilion ballroom programs, simultaneously.  I get dizzy just thinking about that schedule!
  — with all of your many accomplishments, however, I do have to say one of the absolute most impressive to me is when I get to visit and see the day to day interaction of the kids.  These kids (remember the SEVEN kids?!).  All get along (and the majority of them are in the thick of the pre-teen to young adult age span – yes, the age span where most siblings hate each other).  Not only do they get along, but they genuinely like and care for one another.
 — case in point:  this last visit, I got the chance to stay up into the wee hours of the morning talking to a couple of the kids – ages 19 and 16.  I loved talking to them, but more importantly, I loved watching how they would talk with one another.  As we discussed different boys and girls, they would tell each other, “oh, I don’t like him for you”  or “yes, you should go out with her, she’s great.”  Or even, “No, you shouldn’t go out with her, she’s mean to me”… and he would truly listen to her and take the insight to heart.  Amazing!
 — to me, that speaks volumes to mommyhood – and that is one hand-me-down that I would love to grow into as my kids reach those points in life.

And then there is Julie…

 the family firecracker.  (Seriously folks, if you have a party and she’s not on the guest list, you may as well just cancel the party!  She’s awesome!)  Just being around her makes me smile.  I secretly stock her blog just to copy some of the incredibly cute things that she does with her kiddos and make-believe that I am as creative and talented as she is :).  (C’mon, anyone who would orchestrate her husband into making real-not-cheap-plasticky bows and arrows as party gifts for their son’s ‘robin hood’ birthday party is up there for mother (and father!) of the year award!).
… but the thing that impresses me the most is hard to put into words.  Julie is the essence of motherhood. Whenever I see her with her kids, I have the thought, “wow, I want to be a mom like that.”  You can tell that she truly lives motherhood as she puts her kids needs above anything else in life and is really there for her kids, both physically, but also mentally and emotionally.
Case in point:  Julie is a phenomenal ballroom dancer (as in touring the world in college type of dancer!).  She gave that all up in the pursuit of mommyhood.  When her oldest got into elementary school, she started a childrens ballroom program.  Not for her own benefit, or to further her own ballroom career, but to have a team for her daughter to learn the skills that she loves so much.
But that case in point doesn’t even truly describe what I’m trying to explain – she just oozes motherly love, from being there at every moment that her kids need her physically, to giving her kids the comforts of life, not only temporal, but also emotional,  even at her own sacrifice in so many ways.
That is a hand-me-down that I am trying to do more of… invest not in just physically being a mom, but capturing the essence and spirit of mommyhood.
There are so many more examples I could give – from sister-in-laws, to dear friends, to casual acquaintances, of little lessons in mommyhood that have helped me to grow into this role that hopefully someday, will fit me just perfectly.
For now, I will continue to mold and morph, roll up the sleeves when they get a bit too long
And continue to watch and learn and grow
from all of you.
Thank you so much for your hand-me-down ways of mommyhood 🙂
Filed Under: Deep Thoughts, Motherhood

How do you do it all??

May 28, 2011 by ·

 … is a question I have been asked lately when conversation turns to the book coming out.And the real, honest, gut wrenching answer is:  I don’t.This post is simply just to keep it real.  As things have been coming to a head with the books and seminars, I have felt more and more like a chicken with my head cut off… running around in a zillion different directions, trying desperately to catch the (too) many things that I find slipping through my fingers (like missing 2 out of the 4 soccer sessions that we signed my 6 year old up for months ago, and I told myself after missing the first week that we HAD to get him to the 2nd week for sure… and then didn’t think about it again until the morning after the 2nd session…).

Or yesterday getting a call from 3 year olds preschool teacher… informing me that Joshy had bitten another child… and this was the third such phone call I had received from her within the past 2 weeks.  And then in trying to do a pow wow session on the phone of what we could do to stop this, she said she would send home some articles for me to read about ways to get over the biting… like giving more attention to the child…

… She said some other things too, but I didn’t get past that first part.
It hit me
and hit me hard.
In my rush to get these “outside” projects done,
I have been neglecting my “inside” projects.
My most important projects:
my own children.

 

I have been trying so hard to get these books done that, more often than I care to admit, I have been more of a ‘body’ in the home, making sure the children stayed alive throughout the day.  But (as humiliating as this is to admit), not really doing a whole lot more.  Except feeling guilty for it.

Oh yes, that’s one thing that I have excelled at through everything.
The guilt.
Guilt for not meeting a deadline on the book,
Or for not preparing enough for the seminars.
And then guilt for not sitting on the floor for 3 hours playing candyland with my kids.
Or for not taking them on nature walks to pick variations of wild flowers and then come back, press and preserve the flowers for their own personal scrapbooks.
Yep, Guilt is one thing I can do.

So, no, I don’t do it all.

… And I don’t think anyone can.
In our quest to be the perfect mom, wife, friend, sister, daughter, homemaker, book writer, stick figure drawer, etc etc etc (the list could be endless!)…

We can’t do it all.

And shouldn’t do it all.

I think the trick is finding what we can do

And letting go of the rest.

So, perhaps the question we should be asking each other is:
How do you not do it all?
In other words… how do you prioritize and pick what you will do?
Or more importantly, how do you pick and choose what you will let go…
without holding on to the guilt of letting it go??

Just keeping it real 🙂

Filed Under: Deep Thoughts, Featured Posts, Motherhood Tagged With: ,

so many hats… so little time…

May 28, 2011 by ·

I have found myself so caught up in all of the royalty hoopla this weekend… no I didn’t get up at 4:00 to watch the live ceremony… (I knew they would rebroadcast about 1000 times so I wasn’t too worried),

But we did wait anxiously for the “royal kiss” and watched the recap on the morning news show… complete with all of the clips featuring the regal dresses and matching hats (who knew there were so many different hat designs in the world??!  and truly, some of those hats just weren’t meant to be worn – let’s just be honest!).Now, I’m normally not a hat person, but I do my fare share of hat switching throughout any given day.  Take today, for example:

— Wake up in wee hours of morning with horrible stomach issues.
Put on Dr. Hat (since Dr. Hubby is out of town, I couldn’t just turn and ask him what was up) to diagnose the issue:
pregnancy?  Nope.
flu?  Not likely
anyway related to the junky substitute for food that I have been shoveling into my mouth for the past waaaay too many days?  Highly probable.

Which meant I probably just had to wait it out.
On goes patient hat.

Kids come into room in the (still too early) morning, asking if they can watch tv (knowing full well the chore schedule that is awaiting them)
Put on task master hat and mumble something about chores, violin, reading… don’t really finish sentence as I drift back to sleep.
Wake up a bit later to sound of not one, but 2 TV’s playing
Put on warden had and hand out “go directly to jail” cards.

Quickly change into chef hat and direct my little Sioux chefs to get out cereal and milk, and hurry because we needed to be walking out the door in 10 minutes.
Realize we are out of milk.
Change into Kentucky derby hat – race to corner gas station, load up on milk.  (and donuts).

Put on exercise clothes and change into zumba hat.

Load all 5 kiddos in car (shoes optional…) speed to gym just in time to get kids into kids care and run up stairs to help with 3 hour zumbathon to raise money for YMCA in Japan (adjusting philanthropist hat on the way)

Do my little section… quickly changing my whole outline right in the middle due to mic malfunctions
(enter chameleon hat)

Finish my tidbit, change from sexy latin dance hat to mommy hat once again, race to kids care to gather up kids and zoom son to soccer game.

Stopping along the way to break out Mechanic hat as overheating car started dinging warning bells louder and louder warning me to pull off road before engine exploded.

Get to Soccer game, shove shivering son out the door and put on momma bear hat as I launch a tirade of text messages about why wasn’t the game canceled in light of the the freezing rain/high wind/mud pit of a field.

Kept all other kids inside car to watch from our warm perch
and don umpire hat to referee all of the fights that broke out between the kids who were cooped up in way to close of quarters for way too long.

Finally see the game end, and quickly get things loaded to zoom back to zumbathon… only to discover that the car is completely dead.  Not just a little dead.  Won’t even make a sound.

Put on mechanics hat once again and quickly diagnose as child error (i.e. yelled at the kids, who were climbing up on the dash board that they surely hit something that drained the battery in all of their craziness during the game).

Call AAA (LOVE that company!).  Wait for road side assistance (ignoring the glares from other cars, as I wasn’t parked ‘exactly legally’ to begin with, and now had no way of moving the car anyway).

Put on choir director’s hat to cue heavenly angels chorus as road side assistance drove up…
… and quickly pointed out that the lights had been left on the whole game… by (ahem) me.

Jumped battery, told me to keep car running for a while… which was a little problem (see previous overheating issue).

Slapped on deductive reasoning hat to contemplate options:
1.  let car run with no coolant to charge battery… leading to overheating and possibly blowing up engine.
2.  go to store, shut off car to get coolant, have battery die again while in store and become stranded once more with kids.

… finally made it home, found coolant, poured in car, turned back on, let it run.

Put on night hat and literally crashed on the couch for a good hour.  Hopefully the kiddos found something to eat, but not sure.

Woke up even more drained then before, walked like a zombie trying to get my bearings as the neighborhood seemed to have converged on our backyard.

Now contemplating putting on hypocrite hat to load up the kids and declare tonight a Micky-D night (not even 24 hours after updating a ‘how to feed your kids healthy’ type of handout for the website).  Nice.

What hats have you been wearing??

Filed Under: Motherhood, Random Tagged With: ,
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