so many hats… so little time…

I have found myself so caught up in all of the royalty hoopla this weekend… no I didn’t get up at 4:00 to watch the live ceremony… (I knew they would rebroadcast about 1000 times so I wasn’t too worried),

But we did wait anxiously for the “royal kiss” and watched the recap on the morning news show… complete with all of the clips featuring the regal dresses and matching hats (who knew there were so many different hat designs in the world??!  and truly, some of those hats just weren’t meant to be worn – let’s just be honest!).Now, I’m normally not a hat person, but I do my fare share of hat switching throughout any given day.  Take today, for example:

— Wake up in wee hours of morning with horrible stomach issues.
Put on Dr. Hat (since Dr. Hubby is out of town, I couldn’t just turn and ask him what was up) to diagnose the issue:
pregnancy?  Nope.
flu?  Not likely
anyway related to the junky substitute for food that I have been shoveling into my mouth for the past waaaay too many days?  Highly probable.

Which meant I probably just had to wait it out.
On goes patient hat.

Kids come into room in the (still too early) morning, asking if they can watch tv (knowing full well the chore schedule that is awaiting them)
Put on task master hat and mumble something about chores, violin, reading… don’t really finish sentence as I drift back to sleep.
Wake up a bit later to sound of not one, but 2 TV’s playing
Put on warden had and hand out “go directly to jail” cards.

Quickly change into chef hat and direct my little Sioux chefs to get out cereal and milk, and hurry because we needed to be walking out the door in 10 minutes.
Realize we are out of milk.
Change into Kentucky derby hat – race to corner gas station, load up on milk.  (and donuts).

Put on exercise clothes and change into zumba hat.

Load all 5 kiddos in car (shoes optional…) speed to gym just in time to get kids into kids care and run up stairs to help with 3 hour zumbathon to raise money for YMCA in Japan (adjusting philanthropist hat on the way)

Do my little section… quickly changing my whole outline right in the middle due to mic malfunctions
(enter chameleon hat)

Finish my tidbit, change from sexy latin dance hat to mommy hat once again, race to kids care to gather up kids and zoom son to soccer game.

Stopping along the way to break out Mechanic hat as overheating car started dinging warning bells louder and louder warning me to pull off road before engine exploded.

Get to Soccer game, shove shivering son out the door and put on momma bear hat as I launch a tirade of text messages about why wasn’t the game canceled in light of the the freezing rain/high wind/mud pit of a field.

Kept all other kids inside car to watch from our warm perch
and don umpire hat to referee all of the fights that broke out between the kids who were cooped up in way to close of quarters for way too long.

Finally see the game end, and quickly get things loaded to zoom back to zumbathon… only to discover that the car is completely dead.  Not just a little dead.  Won’t even make a sound.

Put on mechanics hat once again and quickly diagnose as child error (i.e. yelled at the kids, who were climbing up on the dash board that they surely hit something that drained the battery in all of their craziness during the game).

Call AAA (LOVE that company!).  Wait for road side assistance (ignoring the glares from other cars, as I wasn’t parked ‘exactly legally’ to begin with, and now had no way of moving the car anyway).

Put on choir director’s hat to cue heavenly angels chorus as road side assistance drove up…
… and quickly pointed out that the lights had been left on the whole game… by (ahem) me.

Jumped battery, told me to keep car running for a while… which was a little problem (see previous overheating issue).

Slapped on deductive reasoning hat to contemplate options:
1.  let car run with no coolant to charge battery… leading to overheating and possibly blowing up engine.
2.  go to store, shut off car to get coolant, have battery die again while in store and become stranded once more with kids.

… finally made it home, found coolant, poured in car, turned back on, let it run.

Put on night hat and literally crashed on the couch for a good hour.  Hopefully the kiddos found something to eat, but not sure.

Woke up even more drained then before, walked like a zombie trying to get my bearings as the neighborhood seemed to have converged on our backyard.

Now contemplating putting on hypocrite hat to load up the kids and declare tonight a Micky-D night (not even 24 hours after updating a ‘how to feed your kids healthy’ type of handout for the website).  Nice.

What hats have you been wearing??

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