sad. happy. guilt. repeat.

May 3, 2012 by ·

The more I navigate the mountains of motherhood, the more I realize there was a LOT left out of the ‘perfect parenting’ manual.

Or maybe it was just in the fine print that I always skip.  and then later regret having skipped.

And I’m not even to the teenage years yet… oye ve!

Without boring you with all of the sordid details, this has been our latest parental roller coaster ride…

For the past year we have been on the baby bandwagon.  Since we have fertility issues (yes, I know, cry me a river right??  It sounds so strange to claim ‘fertility issues’ when we have 5 little ones running around!).  Each one has come with the help of clomid, and some well-timed, ahh, ‘together time’ (gotta keep it pg!).

In the world of infertility, I am well aware of the fact that I am incredibly lucky and blessed to be able to jump start the process with a simple pill, and that’s how simple it has been with all of our pregnancies – the first 2-3 months, and bam… baby in the oven.  This last one was a little different, however, month, after month after month of up and down and every which way.  After a year of this, We finally saw the ever-covetad ‘extra line’ on the stick and the crazy cravings and nausea entered in full force.

At the first Dr. Appointment, imagine my surprise to find not one, but TWO little babes in the making.  After the initial shock of “how in the world are we going to do this?!” we started to get pretty excited.  The twins we had (our first born) were ecstatic to welcome another double bundle to the family.

We went in for a routine ultra sound, and were completely blind sided to find that there was no heartbeat in one of the babies.  I felt like I had just been punched in the stomach.

We spent the next week going through every emotion under the sun… so sad, then so happy to still have one, then super guilty for being happy to have one, then sad again… crazy times!

Fast forward another month, and I start to have some signs that send us into the ob-instacare wing, with fear and stress of what is going on with this little one.

Never before has a tiny heartbeat meant so much.  I didn’t realize how wound up I was until we saw that heartbeat and I let out a little screech.  My husband grabbed my hand and gave a big squeeze, showing his relief as well.  So as of now, still pregnant.  And praying like crazy that we can go through the next 6 months with much less drama then we have had for the past 3.

Filed Under: Uncategorized

What I feed my kids… Valentine’s Day Breakfast

February 16, 2012 by ·

 

 

 

Thank you, Pinterest for this fun idea for Valentine’s Breakfast… egg cooked right into the bread – how fun is that??

It was also the easiest Valentine’s Day breakfast I have ever made… simply cut out the center of the toast with a heart cookie cutter, then put the toast on the grill, cracked an egg in the middle (pinterest didn’t have you turn it over, but I’m not such a lover of sunny side up eggs, so I flipped mine!), and whalla… a super cute, yummy, and (most importantly) easy dish for the kiddos!

 

 

 

 

of course, if you scroll out a bit on the plate… you will find the ‘rest of the story’… ;).  My dad has had a tradition of getting everyone their own, personal box of chocolates, complete with a love note written on his prescription pad paper.  This has been happening since my earliest memories of Valentine’s Day, and it has passed onto his grand-kids.  Valentine’s day is the one day that I just let the kids dive into the sweets right at breakfast time.

so there you have it, full disclosure… :).

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Filed Under: Uncategorized

Precious Moments…

February 1, 2012 by ·

 

 

… ahhh, those ‘rare’ precious motherhood moments, when all the stars align, the kids eat all their vegetables, and skip to bed without complaining…

and then there is reality.  Those ‘more often’ precious moments where you wonder how in the world you are going to survive this gig called motherhood.

Let me take you inside one of the latter…

It’s a Monday.  I have offered to babysit for a dear friend so she and her hubby can go to a work function and have a much needed date night.

In an effort to not miss our own family home evening (the night in our church that we set aside to have a lesson, songs, and activity), I devise this ‘wonderful’ plan (read:  ‘wonderful’ = insane-what-was-I-thinking-plan!) to have all of our kids come with me, have hubby meet us there after work, have our family home evening, then have him take our kids home while I stay with their kids the remainder of the night.  Sounds simple enough, right?!

As the FHE activity, hubby decides to help our kids learn some service and has the 3 olders go out with him to shovel their driveway.

which leaves me inside with 5 youngers (from age 4- 3 months old) who are all very tired and ready for bed.

still doing okay.

I get friend’s two olders ready for bed, in between holding the 3 month old and fending off my bouncing-off-the-walls 2 year old and tasmanian devil 4 year old.

… I have just finished putting down their second child, and am walking down hallway to pick up crying 3 month old

– oh, did I mention that in said hallway, they have a corner GLASS cabinet, with GLASS shelves, housing a collection of GLASS precious moments dolls, collected over years and years??!!

….  yes, I did hear your collective gasp, and yes, you do know where this is going…

Just as I scoop up 3 month old, I hear that gut-wrenching glass upon glass shatter sound…

and turn to see 4 yo in a sea of precious moments bits.

… first and foremost – no, he was not harmed (at least by the precious moments!).  He had pulled one glass shelf down onto another shelf, shattering about 85% of the precious moments collection.

. Wow.

If I had my wits about me, I would have snapped a picture of the whole thing.

I did NOT have my wits about me.

Seriously – what do you do in a moment like that??!

After thorough investigation, there was no hole in which I could bury myself.

I tried to super glue some of the not-so-shatteried heads back on – no luck.

So I carefully placed the decapitated heads next to the jagged bodies,

wrote a big fat check,

and waited for the dreaded moment of return of the friends.

The worst part was, they walked in so happy because they had come home to a freshly shoveled driveway…

and I got to shatter that feeling, letting them know what their shoveled driveway had indeed cost them.

Lovely.

Being the amazing people that they are, they were very gracious about it (they really are next in line for sainthood!!), but it still did little to relieve the utter anguish of this lovely,

precious motherhood moment.

Filed Under: Featured Posts, Motherhood

Seize the sleep.

January 22, 2012 by ·
This blog post has been zooming through the web world like a loose hogwarts snipe.  I read it and found myself saying, “amen, sista!”  all throughout.  How perfectly she captured motherhood moments.
It also reminded me of a question I received from a dear friend just a few days ago, who a couple of years ago entered the world of twindom.  A couple being the key word.  She has now entered the lovely “2’s”  phase – something that really does get exponential in the twins world.  She asked one simple question:  “How did you survive??”
And my response was pretty much just as simple, “I went into survival mode… and I seized the sleep moments!”
I have learned that this is my mommyhood point of reconnection.  As in, re-connecting myself with some semblance of sanity.  There really are moments during the thick of the day when I have thought the words, “someone in this house is not going to make it to tonight – it’s either one of the kids, or me!”  and yet, each night as the ‘GO BACK TO BED’ cries die down, the giggling from the shared rooms settle down, and sweet silence coats the second level, I sometimes like to take a peak at their sweet sleeping faces.  These are the times that I remember truly how sweet they are, and that in the end going through the trenches of mothering is really worth it.
These are the times when I can honestly and truly answer the older women’s warnings to “CHERISH THE MOMENTS NOW!”  with a heartfelt, “thank you!”  Because, for this brief moment in eternity, I get to have every person who is physically a part of me all together, within the walls of my own home.  Those are the moments that I truly do wish for time to pause for a brief moment so that I can bask in it for one small second longer.
I don’t kid myself into thinking that tomorrow is going to be all ‘gleefully skipping through the meadows for a perfect family picnic’ but seizing the sleep moments truly does help me come back and regroup, and get ready to get up again to climb right back into the poppy diapers and tantrum territory.
So, to quote a phrase from momastary… “carry on, warrior, only 6 more hours to bed time!”
Seize the sleep!
Filed Under: Uncategorized

holy moly stromboli!

January 19, 2012 by ·

 Love this recipe – so simple, so fast, and a favorite with the kiddos!

Start with a refrigerated french bread loaf

roll it out into a rectangle (If you get the kind in the tube, it’s usually rolled up jelly-roll style, so you can just find the seam and unroll it that way – no rolling pin necessary!)

If you are a make-from-scratch type of person, by all means, use your own recipe 🙂

I’ll keep doing it this way…

cause I’m lazy like that.

 cut slices down each side, going in about 1/4 of the way, leaving 1/2 of the space together in the middle

Put cut up meat and cheese in the middle

I only have a picture of the meat – use your imagination for the cheese 🙂

 

braid the side pieces… simply criss cross each of the little cut out pieces (you can even add a twist to make it look really fancy!)

If you want to make the top bakery-esc, you can brush it with whipped egg whites, and sprinkle some parmesan cheese over the top
Bake in oven according to french bread package directions (usually 350 for 25 minutes)
(okay, I realize this picture is a far cry from Food Network worthy, but hey, I had 5 hungry kids who wanted to eat more than look at the meal)
Slice up and enjoy!  The biggest challenge we have here is the kiddos waiting for the cheese to cool down enough before they can dig in!
Filed Under: Recipes
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