Juggling…

… has never been something that I have been good at. 

I have been amazed when I can see people juggling all sorts of crazy objects, all with a huge smile, and all without breaking a sweat.
Amazing.Lately, however, I have been feeling like everywhere I turn, I have been picking up more things than I can hold, and have therefore resorted to juggling to try to keep them all afloat.

Like my house:
I would post pictures… but it’s just plain embarrassing.
I don’t think there’s a single area that is actually clean and organized.
I keep thinking that deep down inside me there is a meticulously organized, minimalist person…
but right now she’s buried underneath loads of clutter.

And not very good and juggling.

And then the kids
I know in some circles 5 kiddos is just getting started.
But in my circle, it’s all I can do to keep up with them…
Keeping then fed and clothed is an added bonus.
When I actually get them to different destinations on time, it’s a hallelujah moment.

Juggling gets a bit more comical when all 5 personalities come shining through…

like when we sign up 3 kids for ski lessons,
and my 5 year old (who really is amazonian-like in largeness) decides to turn into a spaghetti noodle, slipping through my arms multiple times as he whines ‘I don’t wanna go, I don’t wanna go…’ about 5 minutes after I had explained to the instructor that he was the best one out of the 3…

Or when I’m dragging all 5 kiddos out of bed to make it across town to 7 AM violin lessons.
Really?!  Where was my brain when that scheduling idea came through my juggling arms.
(Is it bad that I almost started crying with joy when the teacher cancelled all lessons for a couple of weeks??)

Then there’s my book…
I know I know, I’ve talked about it so much, you’re sick of hearing about it.

I have a publisher wanting to take over production…
which is great, right??
yes… but that means that in some ways I have to go back to pretending it’s not actually published, and revise the manuscript with updates, and get everything sent in.
And each day as the sands of time slip through my fingers, I vow to plow through the last bits of it when the kids go down.
and then something happens when the kids go down…
My brain suddenly melts into mush,
My Body suddenly reminds me how much I have tormented it at the gym,
And I generally turn into a zombie, not really able to juggle anything else besides the TV remote.Or the invention…
Yea, that’s still in the juggling mix right now also.
Although I’m barely hanging on to that one by my fingernails…
Plugging away… at about a snails pace on that one.

Just enough to keep it in the juggling arena… and on my guilty conscience.

Not to even mention the additives, like friendships and relationships, calling stewardships… and all other types of -ships.

Those, well, have pretty much been getting all mangled in the juggle.

Sorry if you are one of those and have been feeling a bit – neglected- lately.  It’s not that I don’t think about you and want to revive the -ships…
Right now I just plain don’t have enough arms to keep everything afloat.

And I think we have established the fact that I don’t really know how to juggle.

So, please forgive me as I set down the juggling pins and just hibernate for a while and dig out of the avalanche of ‘stuff’ that has suddenly collapsed all around me.

… and maybe sign up for some juggling lessons

Thoughts to live by…

 

 

“Kids, go get in the car…”

… maybe I should have been a bit more specific…

Just Right

 I am sitting at the park, watching my 3 youngest kids play.

Nothing out of the ordinary.
We’ve done this countless times.
And yet…
Today…
Something is different.
The birds harmony sounds just right.
The sun feels not too hot, not too cold, but just right.
The breeze is not too fast, not too slow, but just right.
And watching the kids unabashed joy at their first post-winter-hybernation outing feels…
…just…
right.And once again, I am reminded
that I love my Job.
I love the fact that we can drive by a park,
and decide to stop on the spur of the moment.
No preplanned play date
No coats packed
No snacks
No water
No Sunscreen (shhh, don’t tell my dear derm hubby!)
No spare diapers.
Just a mom, and her kids.
Soaking in the moment.

Don’t get me wrong… you won’t see “Family Fun” magazine showing up to take a cover shot of my backwards shirt-wearing, snot dribbling son.

And I don’t care.

Just sitting here, watching them, I am trying to etch into my brain
the giggles
the squeals
the happiness

Of unscheduled
Unstructured
Unphotographable
Mommyhood moments.

That make some of the more mundane moments of muck a bit more manageable.